Thursday, July 17, 2014

Half of Who I Am is All You Ever Wanted

Can you feel me?
I need you more today than I did yesterday
I know you feel it
I sense the distance it puts between us
In the same way that my strength draws you near
My frailty pushes you away
Tell me, then, who am I to turn to when I am in need?

Such a wretched enigma!
You love and respect the part of me that does not need your approval
While the part of me that craves your love and acceptance stands hated
At a time when a caustic remark would fly right off my shoulders
I am deemed worthy of your esteem
But when I am vulnerable
I become the object of your disdain

When I am in need of tenderness and compassion
You lie in wait for the woman who needs nothing and no one
To reappear
You admire her resilience
You take delight in her vitality
You love her when she is self-assured
Then leave her when she needs you most

Half of the person I am is all you ever wanted
-Ironically enough-
It is the half of me that can stand alone
This is the paradox
Of a maniacal disposition
And the reason I do not know if I will ever feel
Truly, wholly loved
By anyone

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